STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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