Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
