I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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