I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
