True but thats because hes a fetus.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
