I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
