I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize