Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just cropdusted the office
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
