she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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