My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize