I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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