We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
