Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
