how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
