yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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