I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
they need to just BURY HIM!
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize