did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
