there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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