Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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