Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
send nudes
from the living room?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
