holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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