I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize
