You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
