Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
