That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
