so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
