Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
