Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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