My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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