I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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