I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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