So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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