Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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