i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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