The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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