how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize