Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
