Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize