It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
