First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
