69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
