He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
