I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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