you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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