I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
