Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
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