she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
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