Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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