If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
