he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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