i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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