So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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