ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
