Duck Duck Cougar?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize