Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
