Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
