Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
love makes seman taste better
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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