I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
