It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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