I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
